People who want to get a divorce usually spend time mulling over the idea, thinking about the reasons behind their emotions and desires. As a result, they often come to terms with the concept before the topic has been broached in a marriage. This isn’t the case with the other partner, and it can be difficult to predict how someone will react when they get wind of their spouse’s intentions to divorce.
For this post, we want to share a few essential tips that you should keep in mind as you work towards discussing divorce with the soon-to-be ex. We understand that this can be a difficult conversation for either party, and emotions will run high. The truth is, there is no easy way to tell someone that you want to get a divorce from him/her. However, a bit of preparation can go a long way towards helping you both navigate this challenging conversation while minimizing the potential for escalated conflict.
Maintain a Cool Head at all Times
Sounds like common sense, right? In our experience, it’s one thing to go into the discussion with the intention of keeping a cool head, and it’s another entirely to follow through with that intention. No matter how tense the discussion gets however, it is critical that you do your best to remain calm and avoid escalating the situation at all costs. Remember, you’ve had time to accept the divorce whereas your spouse has not. It can be difficult to predict how someone will react to this type of discussion, but you can do your part by ensuring that you stay calm and collected at all times. Be willing to walk away and give the other person time to process everything.
Choose an Appropriate Time and Place
While there will never be a “perfect time” to ask someone for a divorce, you can be strategic in the timing of your announcement. For example, if your spouse is going through hardship or has been particularly stressed/frustrated recently, it might be wise for you to hold back and wait until circumstances are a little more stable. Along with this, remember to keep the discussions to private spaces only, and use your judgement when it comes to letting others know about these affairs.
Take Time to Prepare and Lay Out Clear, Honest Explanations
Given that your spouse has not had time to accept your decision, they’re going to want to know why, and will likely try to argue with you. Do the both of you a favor and spend time to prepare for this conversation. Be ready to offer clear explanations as to why you want a divorce and above all, remain honest with him/her and yourself. Express your thoughts on whether the marriage can or can’t be salvaged, and don’t forget to give your spouse the opportunity to voice their opinion as well.
Talk to a Skilled Family Law Attorney in CA
At R & S Law Group, LLP, we understand that divorce is not easy, and while we hope the info in this post was helpful, a blog is no replacement for qualified legal counsel. If you want more information on this topic, or have any questions about other matters relating to divorce and family law in CA, don’t hesitate to reach out to our knowledgeable legal experts.
Call R & S Law Group, LLP today to schedule a free initial consultation.